How to Cross the Street in Vietnam

What a silly title, "How to Cross the Street...", you say? Why would anyone need to know that? I wasn't born yesterday. My response would be, or course, I mean no disrespect, however after visiting Vietnam I believe it is of the utmost importance that I prepare you for what may be, up to this point, the most terrifying act you've ever been required to do, should you also choose to visit. Please take a quick look at the 10 second video below, which not only shows the desperate need to understand this imminent danger, but also holds the secret to solving it.


How hard can it be?


If you're able to study the video closely without wetting yourself, or fainting from the sight, you'll discover the secret to actually crossing the street without being murdered. It's actually quite simple. Move slowly, steadily, and confidently in a straight path towards your destination. Never waver, stop, or delay. This is the ultimate test in confidence (or foolishness), but in truth, anything less than complete commitment will result in your untimely demise.

If you need some reassurance, notice that this level of traffic is normal, if not even very light. No one is surprised by it, except for you, of course. All of the locals simply move slowly, steadily, and confidently into whatever open space they have in front of them. This is the way of life here. If you still can't quite muster up the courage to take that first step, we're tempted to say you've already failed. We told you not to hesitate, but fear not, there is another way. Find a local who is also about to venture out in your general direction, and walk in their shadow. Or walk even closer to them, if they'll allow it, as space is limited out in the road. This tactic is actually quite good, as clearly the person you select has crossed the street many times in their life and is still alive to attempt it again. Just make sure they don't have a noticeable limp, like one resulting from getting hit by a motorcycle. If they do, it's probably best to find someone else to guide you.

And never-mind that Vietnam has an extremely high vehicle incident rate...maybe it's best to order another drink and wait it out.